finally, an update

It's been years since I posted, and I'm not sure I truly see the wisdom in bringing again, but I have so much inner turmoil right now I feel as though I need this.

I'm expecting my second set of twins, identical boys this time. And for everything that went ready last time, this tune around has been hard. Not physically on me, but for them.

In December they were diagnosed with Twin-twin transfusion syndrome, meaning the placenta wasn't sharing nutrients/blOod flow. Baby B had little to no amniotic fluid around him, causing him to be "stuck". So we were sent to the Cincinnati fetal care center and had wonderful care and surgery. They recovered perfectly.

However, in our file up care, six weeks later, an amniotic band was discovered around Baby A's upper right arm. We've been monitoring it for three weeks and we'll have a second fetal surgery on Monday. I have so much more to say about that process of again finding ourselves in Cincinnati, but I think my insomnia is finally catching up with me.

It is 6:17 and I've been up since 4am, stressed out about the potential complication of preterm labor from the upcoming surgery. I have today and tomorrow to reconcile myself.

Jesus, Mary, saint Ann, saying Hi Anna, Michael the archangel and all the angels and saints, please help me you find calm and confidence in this process and do everything in your abilities to prevent preterm labor, I beseech you.

More later when my emotions aren't quite so raw.

the letdown...

I went to my first retreat for me this past weekend.  I wasn't expecting any 'aha!' moments, as I feel deeply entrenched in my faith, but I need something like this to remind myself to give me permission to delve back in. 

And even though I tried really hard I could not just sit back and listen.  I made a conscios effort, but they all thought I was the table leader.  Come one, Abby.  Just once, take a back seat.  it isn't about you - it isn't about what you can offer.  It isn't about being the best, the flashiest, the most helpful - who said that being a leader is helpful?  Pretty sure Jesus asid the exact opposite. 

To serve is the great gift.  And yet I am struggling with parts of my personality to do just that.  I am so angry with myself right now that tears are welling up in my eyes for the third time today. 

RotW: Cauliflower au gratin

In a quest to bring more vegetables in I started reading America's Test Kitchen Vegetables cookbook.  There are any number of silly things they expect you to do with some vegetables, but their cauliflower recipes were good, as I feel this poor veggie gets the short end (I feel the same way about brussel sprouts, which I'll feature another week). 

Often times it's touted as "surprise mashed potatoes"...yeah, surprise, they suck.  But cauliflower, when roasted, has a nice, nutty flavor and, when not boiled/steamed to mushiness is quite delicious.  This is my favorite way to make it.

Cauliflower au Gratin:

Prep time:  5 minutes
Cook Time:  30 minutes
Servings:  4
WW:  2

Ingredients: 
2-3 cups fresh cauliflower, cut into bit sized heads

SotW: Saint Andrew Avellino

Feast/Memorial Day:  November 10
1521-1608, Naples

Andrew studied humanities and philosophy at Venice, Italy where he received his Doctor of civil and ecclesiastical law. He was ordained at age 26. He practiced as a lawyer at the ecclesiastical court at Naples. During a heated courtroom argument on behalf of a friend, he supported his position with a lie; in that setting, he had committed perjury. It shook him so badly, he gave up the legal profession, and settled into a life of penance.

Commissioned by his archbishop to reform the convent of Sant' Arcangelo at Naples, a house of such lax discipline it had became a topic of gossip in the city. Through good example, constant work, and the backing of his bishop he managed to restore celibate discipline to the house, but was nearly killed for his efforts when he was attacked by people ordered off the premises.

The night of the attack, he was taken to the house of the Theatine Clerks Regular for his wounds to be treated. He was so impressed with them that he joined the Theatines at age 35, taking the name Andrew in reference to the crucified Apostle. During his life he was named master of novices for ten years and eventually became Superior of the Order. He helped found Theatine houses in Milan and Piacenza and helped establish others.

St. Andrew was an eloquent preacher, and popular missioner and spiritual director, bringing many back to the Church. He was also a writer and extensive correspondent. Friend and advisor of Saint Charles Borromeo.

Suffered a stroke while celebrating Mass, and died soon after.  For this reason, he is recalled as the patron saint of stroke victims.  As such, I will be praying for Andrew's intercession for my grandmother as she continues her recovery. 

WIltw: It's the unexpected moments

Life is always interrupted.  We can set out our plans, well designed, thought-out, inclusive, exclusive, etc., but there are always moments that cannot be scripted.  And those moments are often the most meaningful and show us our true character. 

My grandmother suffered a massive stroke almost three weeks ago and life has been tilted since then.  Schedules have changed, prayer requests have altered, and stress has been added.  But through this a stronger bond than we night have been aware of has become apparent. 

My mother-in-law is visitng Medjugorje over Holy Week and I'm sure it will be a life-changing trip. 

My family is sick and dealing with illness involving late nights, poor sleep, and much coughing.

The most fun is often had when none was expected.  Life is beautiful, amazing, wonderful, and never to be predicted.

MMotW: Where I needed to be

I host a variety of events for YOUth Ministry.  I try to have service, fellowship, and faith/prayer nights each month, though, obviously, they often tie in with one another. 

If I try to do an even tied solely given to prayer my numbers are never good.  At least, not yet, as this is a new opportunity for them, both at this parish and, more importantly, at their age, since they're just now starting to really flex their prayer muscles.

In any case, Palm Sunday afternoon I was setting up stations (this link was my inspiration starting point).  It has a fair number of details to pull together, so while I was setting up I was in and out of rooms at the building.  I was the only one in the building, as it was still over an hour until my event started.

So, when I walked out of the presschool room with a bowl of uncooked rice I was a little startled to see a young man in the hallway, looking into the rooms I was setting up.  He appeared nervous and didn't offer his name when I introduced myself.

He said he needed to talk with someone.  Immediately I offered to contact our priest, but he shrugged and said he'd just come in and talk with me while I set up.  And so we did.  As I moved around the room, setting up stations based upon the Lord's Prayer he haltingly told me he knew something had to change in his life, that he wasn't working up to his potential and he wa tired of it. 

He was needing to make change, but he wasn't sure how and he doesn't really have a support network as his parents work late and on the road often and his siblings are younger and his friends are all doing pretty much the same thing. 

I listened to his words, but, for one of the first times I was really able to listen to what he meant.  He was looking for answers and I told him I didn't have any.  But that he seemed to already have them in his head.  He hadn't set foot in a church in 12 years, though he believed in God.  That's a good place to start, I said. 

We talked, sproradically, for the next hour before my kids began to show up.  He excused himself, but before I let him go I asked to pray with him.  He was nervous, until I said he didn't have to do anything but listen and be there.  I prayed for God to watch over him with special care and to help guide his heart and mind now that he has resolved to change.  When we were done he had tears in his eyes.

I still don't know his name.  My prayer stations went fine, but my job that afternoon was to be there for that young man, who hadn't even intended to stop that afternoon.  God knows better than we do, always, and so I am grateful I was there, setting up an underutilized event, as I was able to offer than still nameless young man some hope and fellowship.

TMofW: Sick Babies

So, we are once again sick in our house.  Little Mae caught a cold last week that worsened over the weekend and it's spread so we all have upper respiratory congestion and coughs.  Mae is also leaking boogers all over the place.  It's fun.  Really. 

What I find very sweet is the way they do and do not take care of one another. When one of them is coughing, the other will helpfully come up to one of the adult and inform us of this. 

If they are tired, they will cuddle with one another, but only if Eve permits it.  Otherwise - no touching. 

They will help one another eat food, by reaching to the other's high chair. 

They will complain when the other is keeping them up at night.

Fortunately, this only lasts a few days before they both tend to improve.