Reflections

This month home with the girls has flown by. I haven't posted in awhile and it's not from lack of trying, but being a full time stay at home mom has been an experience. I spent their first month home with them and now this, their sixth. I love it. And I can't wait for it to end.

There have been several times this month I've felt like a terrible mother because I'm glad this home full-time thing is only temporary. I feel as though a truly good mom would cherish all this time and think going back to work is a horrible idea. But I do love them, more than anything in the world (except, you know, God and Randy). And we have such fun together as they start to sort out their little personalities, but they are constant.

I rarely have more than 4-5 minutes to myself before one of them needs something from me. Today, miraculously, they've taken both naps together, so I've taken a few minutes to myself to write. In any case, I know I'm not a horrible mother, but I do wonder at myself because I am glad I work outside the home. I will miss this time when it's over shortly, but these memories and wonderful to carry around with me.

This past weekend was Festivus, the gathering of Randy's siblings and their families at his parents' home in Urbandale, IA. It's the fourth year of this annual event and it was, in my opinion, the best yet. I had such a fabulous time.

We got there late on Thursday (around 10:30) and made the mistake of letting the babies play with everyone when we got there. It was sweet at the time, but it took us almost two hours to get the girls back to bed then later and there was much crying involved. Ah well.

Friday was a good day - lazy morning with some garage saling with Max and then a big group showing of HP6. And, again, they cut out my favorite Snape moment from the book. In HP4 it was when he showed his dark mark to Fudge, because it was a sacrifice on his part to go about reliving that shameful memento. And in HP6 it's when he yells two things at Harry - first - 'no unforgiveables from you, Potter' and 'Don't call me coward!'. Those two lines are so crucial to Snape - he's still teaching him to uphold Dumbledore's ambitions of the light and dammit -he'd just killed the ONE person who had never doubted him and Potter has the gall to call him coward. I knew in that moment that Snape was good when I was reading the book. But it was still a good movie.

The evening passed gently with a good dinner and an early night for both Randy and I as our allergies and the rough night previous had taken their toll. I'm sorry to say that both the girls have inherited our allergies as well. Mae seems to be more affected than Eve, but both of them have a hard time falling asleep due to congestion and their little nasal cavities are full the entire time we're there. I'm hoping they outgrow it, as it would make weeks at the grandparents slightly miserable. Right now it's not as bad as Randy's and mine, which leave us either miserable or out of our minds from the medication. Fortunately it's only a few days out of the year so it's bearable.

Saturday was a great day, with wonderful food, a family kickball game, secrets of the universe, and etc. My second favorite moment of the day was probably when I walked over to find 90% of the family watching my baby belly laugh at Luna jump at the leaves. Eve's belly laugh is a wonderful sound, so deep and infectious.

The kids games went well back at Dennis and Joanne's, too, with the ubiquitous fish pond and a boys vs. girls treasure hunt. But the best moment of the day happened when Elise and I took Eve to my room to change in her into her pjs and we ended up talking for hours. It was fabulous and just what we both needed. She is an amazing young lady, dealing with a lot (as is every high school girl), and she has a VERY good head about her and has wisdom on some subjects that astounds me. I am so very glad to have her as a niece and I love seeing the changes in her from that first time I met her and we played tic-tac-toe for over an hour to now, when we can talk for well over an hour.

Sunday, of course, crept up too quickly, but it was a good day as well and now we're home again for a few days until Nordic Fest. I didn't get anywhere near as much done as I wanted to this month, but I have gotten some wonderful time in with my daughters, and that's the important part.